


prodigy

by viraseii



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Canon Universe, Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-03-03 17:01:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13345584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/viraseii/pseuds/viraseii
Summary: Season four but Keith





	prodigy

**Author's Note:**

> Tried to keep it as strictly canon as possible
> 
> Have some in depth character analysis / study
> 
> And angst

### Code of Honor

"You are a member of the Blade of Marmora," Kolivan tells him. "And you have potential. But Voltron is an important figurehead as well as a critical weapon. Leading Voltron will take up most of your time, and though you will always be a Blade, Voltron does come first."

Keith shakes his head. "I want to continue with this. We need to work together to understand Lotor's plans and track him down."

"We don't have the resources to give you full training. Not with how quickly things are moving along and how occupied my agents are already."

"Then take me with you on a mission," Keith says. "Finding Lotor is more important than leading diplomacy events."

"You misunderstand the importance of these events," Kolivan chides. "But if you think you can train with the Blade of Marmora and manage Voltron simultaneously, that is your decision. The Blade will still expect your full commitment."

Keith nods. "I'm all in."

* * *

"You're what?"

"I'm going on a mission with the Blades. Sorry, it shouldn't take too long. But we're tracking down Lotor. Don't worry about it."

Pidge eyes him. "Okay.. be careful, Keith. Quick question. Why me?"

"Because someone has to know, and Hunk would get emotional about it, Shiro would try to stop me, and Lance is a headache."

"Maybe if Shiro would try to stop you, that's a sign that you shouldn't get distracted..."

"I'm not distracted! This is exactly what we _should_ be doing."

Pidge sighs and flops back onto her pillow. "Okay. I'll cover for you. But just once."

Keith smiles. "Thanks."

* * *

The Blade of Marmora suit is heavier than Altean armor, but it's designed for stealth and quick movements and he decidedly likes the feel of it. If he pushes the other stuff out of his mind - how it feels like a barrier between him and everyone he cares about. How it feels like a marker, standing out, a spotlight on his DNA. How it feels like he's chosen his Galra side over his human side, when he really just wants it to _not matter_. If he pushes the other stuff out of his mind he can focus on how good it feels. To have this suit. To belong with a group somewhere. To be linked. To be part of something.

And it's fine, mostly. Kolivan chews him out for being aggressive and for being terrible at covert operations. "Do not engage," are the three clipped words of warning he gives this time. It's enough to remind Keith of all the lectures from before about his recklessness.

Keith's terrible at that, though. He has these impulses and he can't just _ignore_ them - he doesn't understand how Kolivan can watch the doors close while knowing Regris is still inside. Doesn't get it. He's panicking inside, worried about what will happen to Regris if he's left behind. Doesn't Kolivan feel... anything?

That's when it's not quite fine. That's when it starts being fine _mostly_ instead of being just _fine._ He's reminded harshly of all he had to do to get here, as he's panting and rising to his feet and watching Kolivan secure Regris's belt. Reminded of how silent everything was - _you are not meant to go through that door_ \- reminded of how much it hurt but how much only Shiro seemed to care that he was _dying._. And that's something he misses desperately, he realizes, on these missions with the Blades.

"Our mission is more important than any one individual."

"This isn't Voltron."

He misses desperately how it feels when someone congratulates him on a victory, warns him to watch his three o'clock, pats him on the back and says good job, rushes to shield him from a stray projectile he didn't notice. How it feels when his teammates smile at him.

Well, he always felt too much. Feeling always got him into trouble. Even now following his emotions is always what lands him in hot water, so - "Regris had the intel." Because that makes sense. That's why he went back. Not because he _felt_ bad - no, the Blades' mission is more important than any one individual. He went back for the mission. He sets his face in stone and hands the drive to Kolivan, brushing shoulders as he walks past him.

* * *

"This is _Lotor_ I'm talking about!" Disbelief is spinning angrily in Keith's head. He hears it in his own voice - the incredulous raise of it, and he knows he's giving it away to Shiro as well. He tries to soften it - tries to explain - "he hasn't been seen in months - this might be our chance to track him down!"

"I _said,_ " - he's mad - "we'll discuss it later. Right now I need you to focus on the mission at hand."

"But-"

Shiro turns to face him fully. "This isn't a request, Keith." Keith bites his lip to hold his tongue back but draws himself up to his full height. How can Shiro not see how important this is?? "Get to the Fimm system. That's an order."

An _order._ Keith draws his eyebrows together in anger. _Fine,_ then. He considers not doing it - considers leaving everyone else to handle their stupid transports by themselves, just to stand against Shiro's _order._

But there'd be no point.

* * *

He's not even sure he'd describe it as _feeling bad_ for leaving Regris. But it's some bad feeling he didn't appreciate in his stomach, some need to go and help Regris get back in time, some unknown connection he inexplicably felt for a moment and couldn't just ignore.

"Well, look who decided to show up."

"Yeah, are you even taking this seriously?"

And Keith should feel offended by that, but it's so refreshing to be where it feels like his absence is felt. And it's something like this - this feeling right here: he doesn't want to have to feel Regris's absence, not now, not in the future, because they've completed several missions together already. He doesn't want to be with someone else on the next mission because he'd _feel_ the absence of Regris and there's no way he can risk that possibility if he has the chance to prevent it.

 _He has thirty ticks._ He doesn't understand how Kolivan can find it so easy to write a teammate off for dead, but Keith sure as hell can't. So he understands why Pidge and Lance are frustrated with him, maybe.

"Sorry I'm late," he says genuinely. But it comes out kind of dismissive because he's still mad about what just happened with Shiro.

* * *

Trying to save Regris doesn't work the next time. The next time, Kolivan grabs him in a _chokehold_ and pulls him clear of the blast. That's the extent of it - Keith's left gasping, spinning through space, spikes of pain and cold stabbing into his side as air hisses out of the cut in his suit, alarms flashing in his face to warn him of low oxygen levels as though he can't tell that for _himself._ He wants to writhe with the pain, but he grits his teeth, forces back the tears, claps one hand over the exposed skin.

The feeling makes him think about Red. He felt comfortable in Red. And maybe if he still belonged to her, she'd be here now, rushing to help him, purring at him and taking him into the warmth of her love. But she's not. She's busy falling for Lance instead - he can tell; he can feel his connection growing weaker and weaker every day. Lance thought he was the extra Paladin, but it's really Keith - Keith's the one who's been taken off of the team and forced into a temporary position he was never cut out for.

He spots the ship. Has to manually get himself to it, just barely in time. His mask shimmers and dissolves, and he's left gasping desperately, clutching himself where his side is burned from the cold, greedily raking in breath after breath like it's the sweetest air he's ever tasted.

It's not, though - it's very sterile air, the sting of something metallic and something antiseptic combining sharply in his nostrils. There's a single tear that's rolled down to his jawline. He raises his eyes to Kolivan's unimpressed face.

Keith is nothing.

He squeezes his eyes shut against the pain - both emotional and physical - and curls in on himself to try to escape the cold unfriendly atmosphere all around him, escape the screaming flesh under his hand.

And Regris is gone.

If only-

* * *

"Allura, I know you're mad at me, but I'm not in the mood for a lecture." He walks stiffly, hood up, muscles tense. He needs to stick it out long enough for everyone to go to sleep, and then get to a pod, just like last time with his shoulder.

Of course, she goes at it anyway - and it all just blows through Keith’s head.

Keith breathes in slowly, trying to focus enough to deal with this, trying not to snap at her, trying not to succumb to the pain in his side. He reaches up and slowly pulls his hood off, focusing on the motion, the feeling of fabric sliding down his hair. "I said, I'm not in the mood for a lecture."

"What I'm trying to say is,” Allura struggles. “The Blade of Marmora can go on without you. They have for thousands of years. Voltron cannot. _We_ cannot."

Keith lowers his eyes. It's not that he wants the team to go on without him - if anywhere felt like home, it was them.

But that was exactly the problem.

He can't call people home. His life doesn't work that way. If he gets attached to people, they leave.

It's better to leave first.

But it's hard.

He thinks about Lance willing to step down for the team. Shouldn't Keith be the one to step back? Lance is the _heart_ of the team. Keith is... a fill-in.

He doesn't look up as Allura passes him.

* * *

He doesn't hear any noises, but he waits another hour before slipping into a pod just in case. He's out in barely even another hour, his side healed, skin unburned, unmarked. Like it didn't even happen.

It makes him wonder. How much physical trauma can he suffer and come out of with not so much as a scratch to remember it by? He's already lost track of the countless places he's been injured since he came up here. It's like the limit has been pushed so far - does protecting himself in battle even matter if they can just shove him in a healing pod and have him come out unscathed a day later?

Does it even matter how many brushes he has with death if he can just erase the consequences in twenty four hours?

Does he even matter?

* * *

Keith considers the mission for a long time. Considers what Allura said for a long time, too - and it's true, the Blade can go on without him, can probably go on better without him. But she's wrong about the other part because Voltron _can also_ go on without him.

Shiro's fallen into some kind of depressive mindset and he thinks he won't be able to pilot the Black Lion - but Keith knows his connection is there, feels it every time the tough fabric of his Altean armor brushes against the joysticks in the Black Lion cockpit. Feels the remnants of a man Keith can never match up to. He's out of place in that Lion. He doesn't understand why the Black Lion has to be so stubborn about it - but he's certain that when pushed it'll open back up to Shiro the way it first opened to Keith on that planet they were stranded on.

He doesn't belong on Voltron. Doesn't belong with math geniuses and culinary experts and dramatic boys who hate his guts, doesn't belong with ancient royalty and a man chiseled from leadership and good judgement and foresight and everything Keith _doesn't have._ He's not meant to be the Black Paladin, and Red has decided she likes Lance better, so.

And then of course, there's Lance himself - idiot boy who thinks he's got nothing to offer to the team when he's _invaluable._ They'd all be dead without Lance's impeccable cover fire to save them every mission, and it's ridiculous that, full of himself as he is, Lance doesn't seem to _see_ that.

Maybe it's because it's usually Keith who needs said cover fire the most - because he rushes into things and makes it harder on the rest of the team. He's better off with the Blade of Marmora in that sense, at least.

* * *

It's what makes him start spending ultimately more time with the Blades than with Voltron. It's what makes him start carefully cutting back his emotions and taking his position with the Blade of Marmora more seriously, what makes him learn to stop aching for the glint in Pidge's eyes or the smile on Lance's lips while he's off on his own. It's what helps him reel in his wild desires to be part of them - because he's not _them,_ he's _Keith_ and that has always been synonymous with _alone._

It's what reminds him that he's only grown attached to Voltron because he was stuck with them for so long, but they've really up till now only been tolerating him at best, evident in how no one seems to miss him when he's away. His only importance to them is his critical role in Voltron, and now that Shiro's back Keith won't have that role for much longer. So he starts preparing himself for the day that will inevitably come - the day when they'll leave him and move on. Cast him out, like everyone else in his life.

He's not a part of them. If anything, Lance is a testament to that. They'll support him, because they're nice and they've been through a lot with him, but his destiny and their's does not match. So it's better that he's prepared for it when they diverge.

* * *

"The fact that the Galra are using decoy ships proves that there is something larger going on."

Keith should be helping with whatever they're doing on Olkarion right now. But the more time he spends away from them, the better.

"We've been tracking shipments of this new quintessence."

On the days he returns to the Castle in time for dinner, he can't help it. He can't help but feel terrible about the distance growing between him and the rest, the way they talk about things that seem to involve everyone but him, conversations he can't find a way to be part of. He can't help wondering if they're sad at all that he's pushing them away - or if they've even noticed. He can't help the harsh reminders he gives himself as he swallows down Hunk's delectable food, the reminders that these people are _not_ his family - that Allura and Coran are alien, that Pidge and Lance and Hunk are best friends from the Garrison, that even Shiro doesn't seem to give the Blades' missions any importance.

"It's running along a previously unknown route which we partially identified here."

Keith's eyes focus on the map as a line draws from one planet to the next. The reminder that he's the outcast. The loner. That the _"one Paladin too many"_ is him. No matter how much he may feel like they're all together - it's just an illusion. They care more for each other than for him. He's not part of it.

"We believe the next stop could be in the Karthan-Sigma Quadrant."

If he's here with the Blades he can direct his energy toward the missions at hand, he can forget about how much he misses the environment of the Castle and focus instead on the supply routes and the quintessence. He missed his team deeply at first, but it's not so bad to think only about duty. Less distractions. More productivity. His combat is getting better.

"Keith."

His attention sharpens and snaps back to the real world at the sound of his name.

"You'll need to get onto the ship undetected and set a series of explosives."

He nods.

* * *

He makes eye contact with Allura accidentally while the rest of team Voltron is handing out supplies and food to refugees. He doesn't mean to - he didn't even realize he was looking over at them. Kolivan hasn't questioned his choice to start spending almost all his time with the Blades, even when there's no mission. But he can see that it bothers Allura, can see the questions in her eyes, so he puts up his mask to conceal his face before she can try to find the answers. Because if she asks him to explain himself, he may not be able to. And that'll just make it harder.

He turns away and follows after Kolivan. Glances back only once, hit with a pang of guilt as he notices that the smile has slid off of Allura's face and isn't returning. But he reminds himself that she was wrong. That Voltron can go on without him. That she was the only one of the four of them that noticed him, anyway. That if she's the only one concerned, that's all the more reason to avoid her, to cut her off, because otherwise she'll convince him to stay with them and that. That's not good.

He belongs with the Blades now. It's in his blood. He doesn't have the choice, so why even consider it?

He shouldn't have even been watching them from the crowd in the first place.

* * *

That's the day he makes the decision to go on the infiltration mission with the Blades. It's to get away from Allura, partially, because she makes him want to stay.

And he makes said decision just in time, because it's only hours later that he hears about the convoy attack. And he knows. He knows he's made a mistake, a big one this time - that lives were almost lost because of him.

But it also proves him right. There's not a single doubt in his mind anymore, regardless of Allura's attempts to figure out why he's pushing his responsibilities as a Paladin aside. The Black Lion, when pushed, was forced to open up to Shiro, and now they'll be fine. Now they'll go on without him.

It's what happened before, anyway. His mom could go on and leave without him. His dad could go on and disappear without him. Shiro could go on to Kerberos and never come back without him, the Garrison could go on maintaining its prestige without him, everything could go on without him. Voltron can go on without him. So he'll go with the Blades where there's at least _some_ link that can't be erased, because if there's anywhere Keith can say he belongs it's probably here. And he doesn't have to love it. He doesn't. But at least he belongs. At least he's not an outsider, a loner.

Lance said it himself. _"Maybe the best thing I can do for the team is step aside."_ They'll recognize that he's just thinking for the good of the mission and they won't be so angry with him anymore. _"One Paladin too many."_

And if he leaves, Lance will like it better, too, so there's that.

"Guys. I..." He's still caught off guard when he enters the bridge to find them all glaring at him. It hits him, then, really sinks in at that moment - he isn't meant to be part of this. He never was. All he ever causes them is hardship. "I heard what happened. I'm sorry I wasn't there to help." Don't look at them. Looking at them makes it harder to tell them.

"You keep saying you're sorry, but your actions say otherwise," Allura bites, and it hurts. He made the decision at the right time. He silently thanks himself for preparing for this, preparing for the day when he'd be thrown out of the place he used to have a home. "Do you realize that your absence put the team in jeopardy?" He was right. He was right. He doesn't belong. He wonders idly where he's going to turn to whenever his time with the Blade of Marmora expires, because even that is going to wind up being temporary, isn't it?

And Allura's finally done with him, too, which he might as well accept as a sealed fate.

"And not just the team," Lance adds on, stepping forward and uncrossing his arms. "The refugees as well." Of course. Lance is more concerned about the refugees than himself.

... Why is Keith thinking about that now? The point is he messed up. "Matter of fact," Pidge says, "the entire quadrant was in danger." Keith just watches them, eyebrows drawn up as he tries to keep his face still because he's _sorry_ and he _hates_ getting yelled at, trying not to think about how they're all mad at him now - all of them. He lowers his eyes. He's guilty of it. It's his fault. This is why he doesn't belong with them - with any kind of group, and kind of friendship or family. He always messes it up. And then this happens.

People cast him out.

"This is not the way I wanted this to happen," he says, voice hollow and pained. "But-" he steps forward, trying to appease their anger, eyes dancing from person to person. "If there's a bright side to any of this, it's that my absense-" his voice breaks a little, because it's his fault and god, they're going to throw him out they're going to throw him out- "allowed Shiro to reestablish his bond with the Black Lion." He stresses that last part. Because after all, it's the _Lion_ that's really the important issue that should be being discussed here, not Keith. The _Lion_ is what they need, the _Lion_ is what they can't go on without. "He can finally be the leader I was unable to be. I'm not meant to pilot the Black Lion." He watches the shift in Shiro's face. He's catching on that Keith's about to drop something big on them. He should do it before they make him leave.

"Is that why you've been pulling away from us?" Allura asks, the concern back on her face, and Keith lowers his eyes again because - because he can't look at Allura - because Allura makes him want to stay - because if Allura keeps pressuring him to figure out why he's pushing them away, he might end up staying - because maybe Allura may end up _not_ throwing him out, and he's not sure how he'd handle them not being as angry with him as he'd expected.

He focuses on just what she's saying instead - and... well, she isn't wrong. "Yeah." The word is brief, defeated, kind of. Thrown out there. "I suppose that's part of it," he adds on softly, considering.

"Part of it?" Hunk sounds bewildered and confused and accusatory. "What's the other part?"

Keith continues staring at the ground. Flashes back to those quiet moments with Lance - _"one Paladin too many."_ Remembers the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, the only part of him that was disappointed when they found Shiro. The realization that he wasn't needed anymore. That he couldn't possibly take Red back from Lance because that would mean Lance would have to take a backseat and he knows Lance can't handle that. He knows he's the one who's least helpful to them, knows Team Voltron needs to be like family and family is not written in his stars. 

And he also knows what he's doing - knows he's purposely cutting off his relationships to brace for the day when - - to brace for this day. Brace for now, when he enters the room to find that he's messed up and no one wants him around. He knows what he's doing and he has no intention to stop because it's easier this way, easier not to care, not to feel, because the more he cares the more he hurts.

How is he supposed to say all of that?

Instead he decides to move on and tell them what he really came here to say. Before they throw him out themselves. "The Blades have been making real headway tracking the source of this new Quintessence," he starts. "They've been able to piece together.. a large network of - hidden supply lines that have been secretly transporting it for - ... _who knows_ how long." He makes eye contact with Shiro. "And there's good reason to believe it could lead us directly to Lotor."

He lowers his eyes again. Stares at Pidge's feet - because Pidge would get it, right? Pidge wanted to leave and find Matt long before all of this happened. Pidge would get it.

"A mission is being planned to infiltrate the supply line. It could take weeks, maybe months to pull off but..." their eyes are all downcast, but they look up as Keith reestablishes eye contact with Shiro. "If there is a chance, we have-" he catches his mistake. There is no _we_ for Keith. He seals his mouth for a split second as if to snatch the blunder out of the air. " _I have_ to take it." He pulls his eyebrows in in determination, because he knows they're not going to like this. Tilts his head up stubbornly. "I _need_ to be on that mission."

Brief silence, so he pushes on. Because he can tell they don't like it. He can tell Shiro doesn't like it.

"Shiro. You are the rightful leader of this team. And you proved it today by reconnecting with the Black Lion." His voice turns rough and strained again. "It was always meant to be yours." He never should have had to sit in that seat.

Shiro walks toward him. It shocks him when Shiro's hand finds his shoulder. He's forgotten what the warmth of physical contact felt like. "Keith." Keith looks up at him, eyes wide, mouth parted. "If this is what you feel is right, then we won't try to stop you. But just know that we're here for you whenever you need us."

Keith watches him in silence for another half second, and then his face pulls into a smile as relief bleeds into his muscles. Because of course. Of course Shiro can read into him like a book, see all his doubts and fears and know how to find what to say to comfort him. "I know you are." Shiro always has been. Through all of it, all the years he's been alone, drifting from one place to another, Shiro's been there, and he's immensely relieved to have his words of comfort back now. "And I can't tell you how much that means to me." Because he can't. And Shiro makes it easy for him to admit that.

They both move at once, clasping their hands and then pulling each other into an embrace. Keith lets his eyes close as he leans into it, the armor on armor stiff but still a welcome comfort compared to the lecture he was expecting to hear, the fight he was expecting to have, the anticipation waiting for them to shun him.

It shocks him even more when Pidge leaps on him, openly wailing, when Hunk reaches around Shiro to hug him, when Lance presses his cheek to Keith's temple, when Allura's hand grips his elbow comfortingly. He's surrounded completely by warmth - and while that reminder is still in the back of his head, the reminder that they'll be fine without him, that they didn't even notice him when he wasn't helping passing out supplies, that they don't need him, that they're only sad right now because they're used to him being there but that they'll get over it - while those reminders are still in the back of his head, he lets himself melt into their arms for a moment. A last goodbye. He may never see them again.

"We're really going to miss you," Pidge says, voice choked, tears glistening on brown lashes.

"Yeah," Lance says, face too close to Keith's for Keith to be able to see it. "who am I gonna make fun of?"

"I know you'll make us proud," Allura says, confidently, kindly.

He leaves them with a smile on his face.

But then he realizes - really realizes what he's leaving behind. They do care about him. The smile slides off his face as he understands fully that he's never going to feel this again - and he's so lucky he ever got to feel it at all.

But they're not... asking him to stay. _Don't let me turn away. Tell me I don't need to be alone. Tell me you still want me here. Ask me to stay._

But no asks him to stay.

He turns away before they can see the pain on his face, walks down the hall because if he doesn't keep moving he'll stop and then he'll end up staying.

He doesn't look back as the door closes behind him forever.

### Reunion

"Your first mistake in the trials was aggression," Kolivan says. "You must know when to quit."

Keith breathes in deeply as instructed to do. "I quit when I win."

"Sometimes sacrifice is required to secure a victory. You must learn this. We will spar, now, and you will have to know when it's important to cede ground. Your mindless aggression is no better than the empire." Keith lowers his brows. Tightens the grip on his knife. Misses the feel of his bayard.

Kolivan attacks swiftly and Keith struggles to defend himself - jolts of pain spiking from wrist to shoulder as he clumsily avoids the attacks. "Breathing!" Kolivan reminds him, and Keith forces himself to fully use his lungs.

"Step _back,_ " Kolivan commands, right as the tip of his blade pricks into Keith's side. Keith gasps. "You're not trying to learn," he chides. "At that moment, in a real fight, you would have been compromised."

"Again," Keith requests quietly. This time instead of stepping back he steps impossibly close, ducking under Kolivan's arm and coming up behind, hand already flying around to hold his knife to Kolivan's throat. Kolivan grabs his arm instead, jerking it down so fast and so hard that Keith's joint explodes in agony. He pulls across his body so Keith's legs lift off the air, and then he's thrown - he crashes to the ground in a heap of limbs, sore and sweaty.

He grits his teeth against the pain, squeezing his eyes shut, taking his time in picking himself back up.

"Keith," Kolivan says. "If you're not trying to learn what I'm teaching you, there's no point in my trying. There are a hundred pieces to put into play that I should be managing."

"No," Keith insists, rolling his shoulder back. "Keep going. I'm learning."

"You're learning by trying to figure out your own way of winning. You're not learning what I'm teaching you. If all you want is a sparring partner you can go to training with the rest of the Blades."

But Keith _doesn't_ want to just go to normal training. He wants to train _harder,_ wants to improve _faster,_ wants to be stronger than the others, if not just as strong, and wants it now. Wants to stop going on covert operations because he sucks at them and wants to engage the enemy instead and wants to be sent specifically to do that.

Give him a ship, at the very least. He wants a ship. He wants to fly. He misses Voltron.

And maybe that's what's holding him back.

"No," he insists. He steels himself against that part of him. Shuts it off. Locks it away. He needs to grow. If that means leaving Voltron behind, then - he's already made that choice. "Keep going. I'm learning."

* * *

Keith's the eyes in the sky for the first planet they attempt to rescue.

Fourteen of them die.

The Empire wins.

Keith doesn't feel nearly as bitter about being stationed up in the atmosphere during the attack as he did before.

* * *

"Step _BACK, KEITH!_ "

Kolivan has never gotten angry.

Or, Keith has never _seen_ Kolivan get angry.

But when Kolivan gets angry, he makes sure Keith _feels_ it. The sword dashes across his abdomen, a shallow cut - but fire still races down the line of it. Keith gasps and stumbles backwards, bending over to clutch his stomach.

" _Yes,_ " Kolivan says frustratedly. "Like _that._ You're doing it now to get away from me but you need to do it _instinctually_ at the _start - before you get injured._ " he strides forward again. "Back."

Only Keith doesn't move backward in time and the next blow catches across his arm and into his ribs - more shallow cuts, but the message is clear. Keith's a dead man twice now.

" _Back._ " Keith cringes in response, curling in and bringing up his arms to protect his head - Kolivan smacks his ribs on the other side with the flat of his blade. "You want to train in combat, but you don't want to learn."

"I _do,_ " he insists, voice breaking up into shards of anger and frustration. "I'm getting used to it."

"You want to stop and take a break."

"..." Keith's not supposed to answer that. Is he?

"Then take it. But if you don't come back better after it, there was no point in the break and you'd do well to remember that next time. Find your focus. You're distracted."

Keith blinks in surprise. Kolivan turns away from him, sheathing his sword. Distracted?

Is he distracted?

He leaves the training room in favor of his own. Grabs water on the way there. Sits down on the bed. Pulls off his hood and takes a long drink. Carefully pulls his suit off of him, the bleeding slowed and smudging over his bare skin. His abdomen burns in protest, arm and ribs stinging with every movement. He scowls at the pain. Flings his suit into a side of the room. Pulls back the wall that opens to the mirror and his clothes, half surprised not to see his bayard before he catches himself and reminds himself it's black now - catches himself again and reminds himself he doesn't deserve one anymore.

He stares at himself in the mirror for a while. He's not really bleeding, but his skin stretches when he moves and there's red liquid still beading along the line. It's smeared all over the surrounding skin - not really healing pod worthy, if he even had access to one anymore, but... a hinderance. He sighs.

* * *

"I can't do that," Keith says finally. "I can't. It's not how I fight. I can't stand back when there's the possibility of finishing a fight just in front of me."

Kolivan studies him. "Alright."

"Alright?" His suit makes his tender skin just more sore.

"Yes. Alright. You're in charge of your own fighting."

"So... you're not going to help me?"

"I'll help you," Kolivan says.

It leaves Keith confused. But at least he made his point..?

* * *

Keith learns that the Blades don't honor their dead very much. They're remembered, but only by their friends, not even their teammates sometimes. There's Keith, still torn up about Regris, about the fourteen Galra who were lost on the planet they failed to even free.

Then there's the rest of the Blades - the names of the dead ones are scarcely even mentioned. It's like it doesn't even matter. Their mistakes and weaknesses are mentioned, worked on, prevented, but not their names or their personality or their family. None of that.

It's almost comfortable in a crazy way in how Keith doesn't have to worry about paying his proper respects and can keep focus on the war.

Almost.

But... not really.

* * *

Keith wakes up in the middle of the night because he turns in his sleep and it pulls at the scratch across his abdomen. He's about to fall back asleep when he sits up, sighing. Reminding himself why the air is so much darker - because he's not at the Castle, he's with the Blade of Marmora. No teal accents on the walls and doors. Dark purple metal wherever he looks. He decides to head out to the observation deck of this base.

The planet closest to them has a band of rings that's six times as wide as the planet - it's a brilliant green with storm systems of pale yellow and desaturated purple. Tomorrow they leave for the Karthan-Sigma quadrant. It'll be the farthest away he's ever been from Voltron since that day Shiro crashed back to Earth. He's having trouble coming to terms with that. An entire quadrant away. Allura can jump that distance in seconds, but... he can't. What if he wants-

He stops himself.

Kolivan is right. He is distracted.

Idiot. He's an idiot. Why is he letting his feelings get in the way of what's right? Why are they even in the way? They never have been before - he's never had to deal with these conflicting thoughts. He wants to go back. Be with them. He misses their laughter the most, even if he wasn't really part of it.

Why does he miss them so much??

He's walking back after having grown bored when he hears - "I'm growing fond of him. It's a connection I've been avoiding after Antok perished." He stops, turning his head to peer into the darkness of the hall that branches off to his right. It leads to the communications hub.

There's some indistinct murmuring. Keith follows the voice... literally no one should be up right now. What are they doing. "-can't help it sometimes," he catches. Is that..? "The more he pulls himself away the more you want to chase him. How is he?"

"He's learning." Kolivan pauses. "I wouldn't spend as much time with him as I do, but he's still integral to the fight against the Galra. He may not see it. But I am keeping him close."

"That's good to hear." It's definitely Shiro. Talking to Kolivan. "I'm worried about him."

"You don't need to be."

"That's not going to stop me. Well... let him know the news."

Keith picks up the pace. There's light at the end of the hall - it's coming from an open doorway. He jogs toward it, footfalls echoing in the silence. "It sounds like he's on his way. You can tell him yourself."

Kolivan is just finishing his sentence when Keith turns the corner to find him looking at him. Keith strides over to where Shiro can see him on screen. The background is bright - the Castle is on the day half of its time cycle. "Shiro," Keith says. His voice comes out laced with surprised even though he knew what to expect.

Shiro breaks into a smile. "Keith. It's good to see you. How are you?"

Keith lowers his mask - it shutters into light and disappears. "Good to see you too," he says, smiling. Then it fades. "I'm well."

Shiro opens his mouth but doesn't say anything for a split second - eyes just searching Keith's. "Pidge has gone away on her own to look for Matt. She's decided to follow up on that lead she was tracking with Coran."

"That's good," Keith says. "Do you know when she's coming back?"

"No, unfortunately," Shiro says. "We can't form Voltron with her gone, so if there's an attack I was telling Kolivan we may need you guys." Keith's heart swells at the prospect of working with them. "The shows are on hold but she said she'd try to be back before we resume in the next galaxy."

Keith nods. "Good luck to her, then." He smiles again. "How's it going back there?"

"Ah, you know," Shiro says, tone almost bittersweet. "Same old. Lance and Coran both love these Voltron shows."

Keith wrinkles his nose.

"You underestimate the importance of a popular figurehead to guide the Coalition," Kolivan says. "It's a crucial element the Blade of Marmora cannot provide."

Keith frowns. "I guess." It's just... _embarrassing. Cringey._

* * *

"You still need to learn to separate yourself from the moment, be in control of your moves, analyze a situation," Kolivan says. He steps forward, attacking in one of his basic drills - Keith steps back and drops right back into his stance, sword ready. "Don't slide back."

" _What?!_ " Keith demands, frustrated, incredulous. After all this time-

"Don't step back. If you must step back, use it as a feint. You have an agile body. Use it to your advantage. Go."

Keith's frustrated enough that he doesn't step back but he doesn't know what to do from there - he raises his arm to block he attack, expecting to pull up his shield, but nothing happens and Kolivan's blade stops milliseconds away from cleaving off Keith's arm. Keith gasps, reminding himself that that shield is part of the Paladin armor, not his Marmora suit. He steadies his breathing, his stance, his grip on his blade.

"Again?"

"Okay," Keith nods. "Again."

* * *

They go back to the planet from before, newly emboldened by the news of the successful liberation of one of the other planets. Keith's still in the sky, but Kolivan sends him in his own fighter to shoot down the two Galra cruisers with a few other Blades.

The victory takes about fifteen hours, if Keith's estimates can be relied upon. Which... honestly, they can't, but it's a ballpark.

They celebrate by drinking that night. Kolivan doesn't give him permission. Which, naturally, means he's sneaking into the food stock rooms, looking for some, only to find someone with a lizard-like tail with his back turned, unmoving.

"... Regris?" Keith says cautiously.

The Galra turns around. At first he has Regris's face, only when Keith blinks his vision clears and he realizes it's a girl who looks nothing like Regris at all. "Kolivan said you'd come," she says. "And to deny you a drink." She smiles sympathetically. "Sorry, Keith."

Keith just shakes his head slowly. "... Sorry."

Is he seeing things?

### Black Site

The next time Shiro contacts them is a few weeks later. Keith has the hang of fighting against Kolivan, now - Kolivan ruthlessly employs strategy to exploit the opponent's weakness and finish the fight swiftly. Keith's still bad at reading people, though, and he's struggling to pick up on the body language clues Kolivan's trying to get him to see, but he's getting better.

"Pidge is back."

Keith raises his eyebrows. "Really? And Matt?"

"She tracked him down and brought him back. He's grown his hair out a little, almost like yours, actually," Shiro laughs. "He was running an extensive listening operation, hidden - she found his grave at a monument because he faked his death. I don't know about you, but I would have given up at that point."

Keith frowns. "I-"

"Yeah, you wouldn't have, either," Shiro says. He grins. "You and Pidge are pretty similar, then."

Keith shrugs, crossing his arms. "So he's part of the rebel alliance, huh? Kolivan says we'll be working closely with them as well. How good are they? Can we count on them?"

Shiro nods. "He's right. They're a strong ally and make up a good portion of the Coalition. And, well, they're no elite warriors, but they're good."

Keith nods. He wants to ask... how they're all doing. If they miss him.

"Matt, Pidge, and Hunk spend almost all their time together now. They're so excited to talk to each other. It's nice here. Pidge is the happiest I've ever seen her."

"That's good," Keith decides. _Can't relate._

"Yeah."

Keith comes to an understanding, then, made of a series of several realizations.

1 - He's not happy.

2 - Team Voltron has never been better.

3 - Knowing that his leaving has made the team happier makes him feel... a little less unhappy.

4 - Correlation does not mean causation, so it's not like his leaving _directly_ made them happier. But it made things easier.

5 - Knowing it's easier on Voltron makes it easier on him.

6 - He’s a lot more attached to Voltron than he thought.

So he gives Shiro a brief smile and puts his mask back up. "I've got to go." Ends the call. Forces himself not to feel bad about it when he knows Shiro woke in the middle of the night so he could catch Keith in the daytime. Shiro needs rest, anyway. He's probably happy to have found Matt again, he should spend time with him, catch up.

Keith's happy to be receiving training from someone like Kolivan. He should focus on that. Be prepared to take down Lotor.

* * *

Their double victory starts a kind of momentum - within the next few weeks, Keith himself has participated in the liberation of three new planets, and the Blade of Marmora's gone through seven total.

It feels a little different from when he fights with Voltron. There's the obvious missing aspect of being able to feel everyone's consciousness alongside his own, but with the Blades everything feels reserved, methodical. Voltron is fun to some extent. It's friendly, and while the Blade celebrates their victories, Keith doesn't know anyone and there's always planning going on - so he spends time with that rather than with the food and smiling warriors.

He would say it's lonely, only he doesn't _feel_ lonely, just shut down to some extent.

But, hey, it's working. The Galra Empire is weakening.

He doesn't understand why he keeps having these same thoughts.

* * *

"Every move you make in combat," Kolivan says, "will both gain you something and lose something."

Keith's doing a lot better these days.

"You can not rush in blindly. That gives your opponent the chance to decide what is lost." To demonstrate his point, Kolivan closes the distance between them rapidly, sword raised - Keith drops to the ground and rolls past him, coming up behind him and immediately attacking. Kolivan blocks it with some obvious difficulty. Keith allows himself a small sliver of pride before he remembers it was on purpose. "You have to be the one to decide what is lost. Never attack without reading the situation."

They spar endlessly, day by day, constantly finding weaknesses in Keith's combat, fixing them. Polishing him until he's lethal.

There's a certain ease in working until death. It's simplistic and it achieves results - pouring his energy into the moment, not thinking twice about the future. Keith likes it. It fits with his impulsivity. Foresight has never been a strength of his, and being told that he doesn't need it, that he can just focus on what's going on in the moment, that he can divert all his attention to the present, is freeing. It lets him go all in. Allows him to pour his strength into what's really important to him, liberates him from incessantly worrying about the future, about implications and consequences. As long as he's doing the right thing, it doesn't matter if he burns out in the process, because ultimately he's made progress and that's what's really important.

Or so it feels.

Until the day Kolivan lowers his sword, clicking his tongue impatiently, stepping back. Keith stops and leans away, glancing up in confusion, lungs screaming and chest aching as he claws in breath after raw, desperate breath. "You have to be quick, but you also have to be calm, Keith."

"I know," Keith insists. "I'm analyzing."

"But you're still pouring yourself into moves that could do without your full energy. You'll tire."

"But you want me to focus on the moment-"

"Focus on it, not expend yourself on it. Know how to quell your strength. Learn to use what's needed. Figure out how to win a fight with just a few, simple, well thought out moves. You cannot just swing your blade until you win. Attack with precision, direction, intention." Keith frowns, then nods.

"Okay."

* * *

"Phase one is complete. Rynar and Odessa have both been assigned to the next shipment. Kota sent back word yesterday that the crew ship has been successfully sabotaged. Rynar and Odessa will have to handpick their officers. Kifyn, Dathes, Shayra, Liluv, you will be part of the mission. Infiltrate and report, only. Stay with the supply line until we find out where this goes. We expect to hear back every two weeks or sooner. Three weeks without contact and you will be presumed dead, your mission aborted." Four of the Blade members nod their assent. Keith sighs in frustration.

* * *

He slams his hands down on the table. "When will I get to go in? When will you send me in?"

"You and I already go on missions," Kolivan says, eyebrows drawn down just slightly, stern.

"But this is the important one! This is the one that matters!"

"They all matter. Liberating planets matters."

"You're keeping me away from-"

"I am."

" _Why?_ "

"Because you still have things to learn," Kolivan says. He stands from the table.

Keith shrinks back, just barely. "I've been fighting the Galra for a long time now. I'm more than equipped to do something worthwhile."

"That's not the issue."

"Then I'm going with them."

"You're staying here because you're needed here," Kolivan says, his voice edging away from conciliatory and more toward commanding. "You're still a Black Paladin."

"Voltron already _has_ a Black Paladin-"

"And he is not infallible. You're important."

Keith grits his teeth. He wants for _once_ in his life not to be stood up on some untouchable pedestal. He want to be with the base of the hierarchy. He wants to be doing what everyone else is doing.

He spins on his heel to leave, and then turns back as he reaches the door, returning to the table. "Did Shiro put you up to this?"

Kolivan simply watches him until Keith gives up and storms out of the room again.

* * *

"Your strength is speed. Move faster."

"But I'm supposed to slow down and analyze-"

"Analyze quickly. Read the opponent and then strike fast. You're small. Use your size to your advantage."

Kolivan aims high to illustrate his point - Keith ducks and swings his arm to the side in the same movement. His blow is weak and the knife glances off Kolivan's armor with an unpleasant thrum up Keith's arm, but Kolivan nods. "Speed. Forceful but effective attacks. Stay low to the ground. Where do you swing most comfortably?"

"... Here?" Keith holds up his arm. Kolivan places two fingers under his wrist and raises them.

"Swing higher." He pushes Keith down from the shoulders. "But stay lower to the ground." Keith bends his knees to oblige. "And move fast."

It's the first time that Keith suddenly leaps ahead in his training - gains an advantage with little effort, one that Kolivan can't manipulate into a weakness. He drops into lower stances like it's second nature, surprised by how much easier it suddenly is to get into Kolivan's guard. It's unusual at first, but he grows into it almost instantly.

He likes it.

It has him smiling as he strains and lowers himself into his bed later, muscles aching, bones protesting. The exhaustion keeps him up most days - past the point of drop dead tired and into the territory where his body hurts so bad he can't relax. He runs a finger absently over the thin, rough line of scarring across his torso. It's almost gone, but he's forgotten what a scar feels like, what with the healing pods always ready to spit his injured body back out good as new.

It makes him feel alive.

His quadriceps burn in the morning. He feels like keeling over from the pain as he tries to sit down without simply dropping into the chair at breakfast, but, god, it's worth it.

* * *

"Keith. Come listen to this." Keith rolls his eyes upward to look through his bangs at where Kota has called to him. He stands side by side with Kolivan, holding up a headset. "Actually, I'll just link you in."

Keith frowns and activates his mask.

The transmission filters in. "Members of the seventh, eleventh, twelfth, and fourteenth fleet, assemble to rally point trox-lyte immediately."

He raises an eyebrow. As far as he can remember the Galra map, there's nothing there - no planets, rebel ship routes, definitely no Marmora bases.

"Engage targets at coordinates in next transmission. By order of Emperor Zarkon."

Keith's eyes go wide.

Jaw drops open.

Pulse roars louder than his own thoughts.

"Members of the seventh..."

Keith lowers his mask, looking up at Kolivan. "Zarkon... is alive??"

"It seems that way," Kolivan says. "This means our attention is now divided between Lotor and Zarkon."

"Lotor may not even be important anymore," Kota speculates.

"What? Of course Lotor is still important," Keith says.

"He is," Kolivan says. "But this complicates the situation."

"Well, what's at the coordinates he's attacking?" Keith asks. "Is it Voltron?"

Kolivan shakes his head. "Voltron is stationed at Olkarion until the Voltron shows resume. It wouldn't be them."

"Should we go check it out?" Kota asks.

"No." Kolivan watches the map where masses of purple dots are converging on the location. "Our infiltration mission on the supply line should be able to report and tell us what's going on," he says.

* * *

"Remember what I said. Your strength is that you're small, so make yourself smaller. Get in close."

Keith steps up so he's close to Kolivan, winds up for the first time with his sword pressed against Kolivan's throat. He retreats, laughing in happiness at his a accomplishment, and Kolivan immediately sweeps his feet out from under him - he crashes to the floor, landing hard on his butt, wincing.

Kolivan hums, considering him. "Your goal is to get close, so use a shorter range weapon," he says thoughtfully as Keith blinks up at him from behind the mask. He switches his sword to a knife and stands again.

He doesn't end with it against his throat this time, though - instead his arm is brutally twisted behind and he's forced to his knees. "No excessive movements. The closer you are, the tighter your strikes need to be. If your arm is flailing too far out-" he pushes Keith's arm down further to illustrate his point, and Keith grunts from the sharp increase of pressure on his shoulder. Kolivan releases him and he catches himself on his other elbow.

* * *

"According to Voltron," Kolivan says to Keith in private a few days later, "the Galra were attacking a deep-space base where Lotor was hiding."

"Lotor?" Keith's interest multiplies tenfold. "Why were they attacking? Are Zarkon and Lotor at odds with each other?"

"They believe Lotor and Zarkon are fighting for control of the empire. I'm not so sure this may be the case. The Galra fleets were all destroyed by Voltron. None of our members survived."

Keith's quiet.

Kolivan shifts so Keith meets his eyes again. "Do you still wish you'd been on that mission, Keith? Do you feel that you're just like the other Blade members?"

Keith doesn't want to answer that. Kolivan's being condescending. He bristles. "What was Lotor doing there?"

"Escaping, by the time Voltron arrived. He has built another ship and it's on par with Voltron. His general and he are on the run. Voltron intercepted and sent us this recording of an empire-wide announcement just hours after the first order to attack." Kolivan pulls up a screen and the playback begins.

"Attention, citizens of the Galra Empire." Keith shivers at the sound of Zarkon's voice. "From this day forward, my son Lotor is to be regarded as a fugitive criminal of the Empire. All citizens are authorized to use deadly force to stop him or any of his soldiers. I repeat, Prince Lotor is an enemy of the state. Engage with extreme prejudice. Kill on sight."

Keith looks up at Kolivan, alarmed.

_Kill on sight._

"So... the routes we're chasing. Do they have anything to do with Lotor at all?"

Kolivan shakes his head. "Likely not. But there's still a possibility. I'll be sending more people in."

Keith blinks. "Oh. Let me go."

"You want to be killed by your friends?"

Keith startles at 'friends.' He hasn't been communicating with them at _all_ since he heard about Matt. He remembers watching Kolivan on the line with Shiro, remembers making eye contact with Kolivan, and then just leaving.

On the one hand, he feels like he should be talking to them. On the other, it doesn't hurt if he blocks them out of his life. Not Shiro, because he can't really ever imagine blocking Shiro out of his life. But everyone else.

"That's not it-"

"Then we're not taking the risk. Once it's time to confront, you'll be needed."

 _That_ piques his interest. "Time to confront..?"

"Once we follow this route until the end. I'll need your combat as we try to take it down, as I'm assuming we may have to."

Keith grins, hiding it as he turns his face to the side. _Finally._ "Okay."

### The Voltron Show!

"Your strength is speed."

Keith growls and throws his knife in frustration. It catches Kolivan off guard and shears away some of his hair as he dodges it. "I thought my strength was my _size._ "

"It's both," Kolivan says coldly. "If you attack fast and use your size to you advantage you can get behind your opponent’s guard. Get on the same side of the shield as they are and they're unintentionally protecting you. Pick up your blade."

Keith tries that. It's hard because he hates _thinking_ about how he's fighting. He likes to just do it - not think about it.

It's like with the lower stances, though. Once he gets used to it, once he _doesn't_ have to think about it, he's stunned by how much easier it gets. How much quicker each drill is over. How much he not only starts winning when he trains against the other Blade members, but starts winning within seconds. It doesn't mean he isn't losing the majority of the time, but there's a shift.

* * *

It's not even just combat, he notices after some time. He's calmer, more focused, just in general. Better at thinking on his feet. He feels more in control.

And he's glad he's here. Really. It's so much easier not being attached, just having a goal and no obstruction because they're all working for the same thing. No one's sidetracked looking for their family or missing their home planet.

It's comfortable in a very impersonal way.

He thinks about that, sometimes - he's Galra, but he's also human. He's more human than Galra, actually.

But not really human enough to belong. The Galra at least, it's straightforward. He doesn't really belong but he and they are going in a common direction. Voltron is... he likes it there. But the Blade of Marmora is where he _should_ be, strategically. Just like Lance said, maybe the best thing he can do for the team is step aside.

Hey, maybe Lance and he would connect better now.

Maybe stop fighting so much.

The idea makes him feel a little better.

But those are all thoughts he only allows himself to have in the dead of night.

* * *

Keith frowns at the screen. Definitely the Space Mall. Definitely Voltron. But... what in _quiznak_ are they doing.

"There's been a surge of rebel activity, and many planets have been recently liberated from the Galra Empire between their efforts and ours," Kolivan is saying from somewhere off in the room. "Voltron has resumed its promotional propaganda events. We're strengthening our forces. In the past twenty four hours alone, the Coalition has grown by eighteen percent.”

There's impressed muttering, which is the exact _opposite_ of what Keith feels. And he doesn't even know where to begin with how Allura's apparently pretending to be him.

Seriously, what are they doing.

* * *

Keith's heartbeat thrums in his chest, because _finally_ he's going to be down there where the fighting is. He's part of the frontal wave, and when they mount their attack he's shocked at how _easy_ it is.

They overcome the main communications within an hour, and from there it's easy to blind the Galra and take over the rest of the planet.

The executions put him off a little. And - yeah, these Galra have murdered hundreds of others. But watching the Blades slice their throats is... unsettling.

They return to their new main base in the Sigma-3 quadrant. Keith reports to Kolivan.

All goes well. He can feel the progress he's made.

He doesn't think about what he's lost too much anymore.

* * *

"You're depressed," Luxtra says to him while they're sitting on the sidelines watching the training going on.

"I'm what?"

"You have depression. I can see it." Keith turns his head to face her, the four circles in her mask where her eyes are. "You've ached and ached and it's pressed you down to a point of no return. You have depression and you cope with it by forcing yourself to push forward."

Keith's a little shocked. "Okay..."

Luxtra has this ability to feel what other people around her feel. She's... an empath, if Keith's using that word right. So he doesn't question her, even though he wants to deny it. She reaches out and clasps his shoulder firmly. "I'm sorry for all your pain and I hope better times lay ahead for you," she says. "But this is war. And I understand."

Keith nods, suddenly finding himself strangely calm. "Thanks..."

She nods, withdrawing her comforting hand and standing. "Spar with me."

She wipes him out in training, but then offers him a hand and keeps going, teaching him. Four hours later he's the one with his knife at her throat.

She laughs. "You learn so fast, Keith," she says appreciatively. "I look forward to more time spent with you."

* * *

Luxtra dies on the next planet they free because Keith is destined to lose everyone in his life.

* * *

"If you get behind their guard," Kolivan says, "you have a determinative advantage. Your short range makes the opponent's weapon your closest target. Take out their weapon, disable them. That gives you time as they try to work around the setback."

"Like this," Keith grunts, twisting his wrist and manipulating Kolivan's sword out of his hands. Kolivan reacts fast, switching to hand to hand combat - Keith ducks under his attacks and sticks close to his body, hooking his arm around his neck and using his free hand to push Kolivan's head down so his throat is pressed to Keith's forearm. Kolivan tries to break his hold, but then Keith’s knife is sliding up to his neck and he stills.

“Yes,” he says, something almost like pride in his voice. “Like this.”

Keith lets him go.

“Good,” Kolivan says. “You’re calmer. You’re thinking more. Let’s go again.”

* * *

Keith doesn’t know how he feels about what the team’s up to. The ice skating? The show personalities? The whole routine - they’re fighters, defenders, not actors.

He doesn’t even know where to begin with Lance. Lance is talented, skilled - an asset, a marksman. Not an entertainer.

Same with Hunk.

Same with Pidge.

Same with Allura and especially same with Shiro.

But, hey, everyone else seems to think it’s a great development of events.

* * *

And then they finally get the news they’ve been waiting for - details of the Galra defense around Naxzela, which appears to be Shiro’s next intended target. Massive fleet movements and the window blooms in front of them almost like destiny is on their side.

It’s time to go to war.

### Begin the Blitz

Keith keeps his face resolute, trying not to betray how good it feels to see all these people in front of him again. Shiro’s in the middle of the screen, Allura hard-set and determined like marble to the left of him. Hunk and Pidge are off to the side, and Lance... stands kind of alone, next to Coran.

“Entire Galra fleets have been mobilized,” Kolivan is explaining. They’re back. They’re ready. They’re doing this and they’re doing it now. “Zarkon seems to be out looking for Lotor.”

“It’s only a matter of time before he gets the empire back in order,” Shiro says, catching on swiftly. “We need to take advantage of this moment.”

“What are you getting at, Shiro?” Allura questions, and Keith can see that she’s beginning to understand, but wants confirmation anyway.

“Now is the time to assemble the coalition that Voltron has been building,” Shiro announces. There it is. Something satisfied settles deep in Keith’s chest. “With intelligence gathered by the Blades and coalition observers, combined with Pidge’s Galra tracking software, we now have a detailed map of the Galra empire.”

Keith zeroes in on the planet Naxzela as Shiro moves in to explain their plan of action.

“I’ve identified an intermittent line of coalition planets that runs through the territory. If you look closely, there’s only one Galra-occupied planet left on that line.”

“Naxzela,” Allura concludes. Pidge looks elated off to the side.

“Exactly. If we capture Naxzela and solidify that line, we can cut off all the Galra troops behind it from central command and use our position to defeat them.”

“Wow,” Pidge comments, smiling. “We could take back a third of the Galra Empire in one fell swoop.”

“Do we have a plan?” Hunk frowns, always wanting to know what’s going on.

“We attack several locations across the region, at once,” Shiro decides. It’s clear he’s thought this through and has been waiting for an opportunity like this. “First we’ll have to cut off communications between the region and Galra Central Command by striking the satellite relay station orbiting Vantax 5.” Keith tries to remember what that planet looks like - he’s been there. It’s very green. Clouds, atmosphere. Nice place.

“Pidge and I can handle that,” Hunk says, pulling Pidge into his side and holding up a thumbs up. Makes sense that he would go for the most straightforward mission. Hunk doesn’t like obscurity.

Keith’s about to bring up the cannons when Shiro says, “The Blades have informed us of two Galra defense systems coming online called Zaiforge cannons. Now, these cannons can strike any target within our combat theater. The first, in high-orbit around the planet Teq, will be attacked by coalition aid forces led by Matt and Captain Olia.”

Keith has a good amount in faith in Olia. She’s capable, decisive, energetic. Kolivan doesn’t seem interested in interacting with her much.

“Kolivan will lead a Marmoran strike team against the second cannon, located on the surface of Senfama, which is vulnerable to a covert ground attack. We intend to take control of these cannons and use Zarkon’s own firepower against him.” Lance is smirking, eyebrows pulled down in mischief, and Keith knows this is the kind of mission he’d love to be on. Long range is his forte.

“Once the coalition forces and Blades neutralize these targets, Galra defenses will be weakened, allowing us to take down the remaining Galra-occupied planets in this area. While our forces are taking control of the planets, Naxzela will already be under attack,” Shiro finishes.

“By whom?” Allura asks.

“Voltron.”

“Aw, yeah!” Lance butts in, and he’s apparently made his way over to Pidge and Hunk - he pulls them in, hyped up about the impending mission. “Team Voltron’s gonna drop in Naxzela, form Hunk’s giant laser cannon, and be all like, ‘Pow! Pow! Pow!’ Easy-peasy.”

“Unfortunately, not that easy,” Shiro frowns. “Naxzela will be tough. It’s heavily fortified with Galra. Our attack must be swift enough to neutralize the Galra forces before they have time to contact Galra headquarters.” His frown deepens. “Cause if they call for reinforcements, we’ll be caught in a fight on two fronts.”

Keith shivers at the thought. They’ll either win tremendously or fail miserably.

Kolivan points out the more optimistic side. “If this works, the Voltron coalition will possess a third of the Galra Empire’s territory. It will be a massive victory.”

“And inspire a whole new wave of rebellions,” Allura adds. Always focused on hope and inspiration. She’s a born leader.

“There’s no time to waste,” Shiro says decisively.

* * *

“So we’ll be providing support to the Taujeerians,” Keith says.

“Correct,” Kolivan confirms. “Shiro is there now, letting them know of the plan.”

Keith nods. He’s... something. Trepidation shifts in his chest, pulsing through his muscles.

It’s time to get the strike team together. Keith’s second after Kolivan, and everyone else has to be swift and effective.

Breathe.

* * *

“All right, Paladins,” Shiro says. “It’s time to gather the coalition. Friends and allies from across the universe must come together to take on the Galra. With their help we’ll have a chance to turn the tides of this war. We all knew this moment would come, and we are more prepared now than we’ve ever been. Let’s do this.”

Keith watches as Allura connects to networks across the universe, waiting for the signal to strengthen before she gives her speech.

“Fellow members of the Voltron Coalition. If you are hearing me now, it is because you have pledged to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with us in our fight against Zarkon’s enslavement of the free peoples of the universe.” She takes a little breath. “But that enslavement is about to be dealt a crushing blow.” Her voice fills with encouragement, choked with determination. “The time for a full-scale attack on the Galra Empire is now. Far in the future, when they speak of this day, they will speak of our sacrifice, but they will also remember this as the day that freedom began to overtake tyranny.”

It’s like she’s going to go on, but then she nods slightly.

“You all have your missions. You know what to do. Good luck. We’ll see you on the other side.”

Keith breathes.

They’re ready.

* * *

The transmission crackles in right as they start their approach.

“Blades, we’re in trouble! What’s the status of your cannon?” Keith doesn’t want to answer at first - they’re busy, focused, silent.

“Blades!”

“Copy, Olia,” he says calmly as they near the cannon. “We’re en route.”

Kolivan strikes first, taking out the first Galra sentry. Keith follows closely, pouring all his focus into staying low and fighting close range - the sentries are down in seconds, and they’re moving on.

His combat has definitely improved. This is where he makes it count.

“Activate cannon,” the Galra Officer is saying when they enter silently. They’re targeting in the general direction of where the second cannon is. “We must defend—“ Kolivan silences the commander.

Keith beelines for the controls, taking down another Galra soldier as the rest of the team fans out and swiftly neutralizes the others. _Kind of you to activate it for me._ He grabs the joysticks, a grin finally spreading to his face with the rush of victory. He lets his mask down. “Now let’s see how this thing works.”

“The Senfama Zaiforge cannon is ours,” Coran announces over the general comms as Kolivan sends him confirmation of success. “Naxzela attack is under way.”

“Copy that!”

“We need to find cover, now!”

Keith narrows his eyes at the distressed calls. They need to take out the second cannon. He searches for it blindly, combing the sky.

“Incoming cruiser, three o’clock!” _Wrong comms, Lance,_ Keith thinks, but it heightens his urgency - their entire plan can fall apart if he fails right now. He lets out a grunt in frustration.

“Come on! Where is it?”

Rapid beeping floods the air as soon as the words fall from his lips, and his mouth quirks upward again.

“Found you. Here goes nothing.”

Then his eyes are squeezing shut and he’s shoving the controls forward with as much force as he can.

The blast narrows into the atmosphere, eventually growing to a pinprick of light, and then-

“Shields down, Captain!”

“All right, lets get control of that cannon!”

Keith grins. Success. Voltron is fighting at Naxzela. And now...

“Zaiforge cannon base is ours!” Coran announces.

“Ready to provide the taujeerians with cover,” Keith confirms.

“Cannon acquired. Ready to provide backup.”

“Copy that,” and Keith can hear the victory in Coran’s voice. “Coalition, you are clear to begin.”

* * *

“We’ve almost taken the entire area!” There’s a slight pause, and then - “Quiznak! The communications satellite is back online. Galra distress calls are going through!”

“It doesn’t matter, Coran.” Keith’s on edge at the news, but Shiro’s voice soothes him with its confidence and authority. “They’re too late. We’ve just about secured Naxzela.”

They did it.

### A New Defender

“It appears that all of the planets we’ve engaged have been pacified, if not totally liberated,” Coran reports. Then he groans in frustration. “Wait. There’s another Galra battle cruiser approaching Naxzela.” Keith frowns, scanning his screen for a sign of it.

“Sector Zar Niomofor is clear,” Matt’s voice responds. “Let me see if I can get a line on that battle cruiser.” He’s interrupted by a sudden whine of powering down machinery, and then - “Zaiforge Cannon Senfama, are you still operational?”

Keith sighs as their own cannon shuts off, humming dropping off into silence as the controls disappear. “Negative.”

“That incoming battle cruiser must have shut them down remotely,” Coran speculates. Keith’s frown deepens. What is it doing?

“Sorry, Shiro,” he says. “That’s it for artillery support. What should we do about that cruiser?”

“That cruisers gonna be too late,” Shiro reassures him as the Blades move to exit the cannon. “Naxzela’s almost secure. We just need to take out the last of the heavy artillery. On our left! Shield up!” Explosions blow through the comms for a brief second.

Keith sighs, squinting up at the sky. They’ve won, Kind of. But that one cruiser puts him on edge. He’s positive something deeper is going on. Maybe it’s a distraction? “Coran, are there any targets that need support?”

“I haven’t heard of anyone needing help,” Coran mutters. “And that Galra fleet heading towards Naxzela stopped.”

“Stopped?” Why?

“Yes. Quite a distance away, too.” That can’t be right.

Kolivan turns toward Keith. “Perhaps the Galra decided it’s too well fortified to attack.”

“‘Victory or death’ is the Galra way,” Keith says incredulously. “They never stop attacking.” Why would they stop? Unless there‘s danger they’re trying to avoid... “Voltron,” Keith gasps. “Shiro, can you hear me?” Pause. “Shiro!”

There’s no response. And anxiety crystallizes hard and sharp in Keith’s gut. “Something’s wrong.” Somethings definitely wrong.

“Paladins? Allura! What’s happened?” Keith hears Coran calling. “It must be the magnetic distortion from Naxzela,” he informs Keith.

“I’m gonna check it out,” Keith decides. there is _something wrong._ “I need a ship.” Keith’s eyes fall on a Galra fighter. “That’ll work.” He just has to stay in communication. If Shiro’s out of commission for any reason, Keith’s gotta step up and make sure things finish the way they’re supposed to. Which means first and foremost eliminating the battle cruiser.

“Matt, somethings wrong,” he says, hailing the Rebel Squad from the fighter. “I can’t reach Voltron.” He’s positive the arrival of the cruiser and the sudden loss of communication can’t be a coincidence.

“We can fly to Naxzela to check on ‘em,” Matt proposes.

“No, I need your help. I can’t explain why, but I know we need to attack that fleet,” Keith commands.

“I thought the fleet had stopped.”

“It has. But we’re afraid it has something to do with Voltron.” We, meaning Keith, but... yeah.

“We’re with you.”

Keith smiles. “Copy that. Good to have you along.”

“I’m coming too,” Coran cuts in nervously. “It might take me a while - I’m on the other side of the Galaxy and I don’t have enough of Allura’s energy left to work the teludav...”

“No, stay in position,” Keith decides quickly. They can’t risk losing all the rebellion’s weapons and ships at once, and Voltron needs somewhere to go back to, and they still have to protect the Taujeerians and the rest... “We might need you back there.”

He can tell Coran isn’t happy about it, but at least he’s listening. Keith accelerates toward the cruiser as fast as he can, fear and worry gnawing at his stomach.

* * *

“Keith!” Shiro’s image flickers into view on the dash. “Can you hear me?”

“Shiro!” Keith sighs in relief. “Where are you? Is everything okay??”

“Not for long if we don’t stop Zarkon’s witch,” Shiro responds wearily. “She must be aboard that battle cruiser.”

“I’m way ahead of you,” Keith grins. “And I brought some backup.”

“Rebel Squad is en route,” Olia reports cheerfully.

“Good to have Voltron back in the fight.” Keith can hear the grin in Matt’s voice.

He’s about to say something, but then the battle cruiser comes into view, including the strange triangular extension to the front.

“What the ruggle is that?” Olia breathes.

“It looks like some sort of weapon attached to the cruiser,” Matt manages to get out before lasers start firing in all directions from the shield around the cruiser. Keith reacts purely on gut, swerving away from the line of fire.

“Evasive maneuvers!” Olia says urgently.

“Follow my lead,” Keith growls. “We’ve got to break through that shield!“ he barely finishes his sentence before heat suddenly explodes around him, intense on his left as a laser beam hits his wing. He squeezes his eyes shut, hunching his shoulders, praying it’ll hold, cursing his absent-mindedness.

He groans as it fades, the ship careening to the left as he shakily inhales a breath. The air is baked. He opens his eyes to study the cruiser in front of him, memories floating to the back of his mind of hearing about how Lance always crashed the simulator.

Logically, if his wing is hit with a laser as strong as the one from the battle cruiser in front of him, he should be dead.

There’s no weakness to the shield. The rebel fighters are shooting relentlessly but fruitlessly - not leaving a mark.

But he’s sitting in a Galra ship. This material is stronger than that of the rebel fighters. A rebel fighter would be obliterated in a blast like that. But the ship is fine, strong... and Keith’s sitting right inside of it, sweaty and breathing shakily but fine.

Matt pops up on screen, distressed. “We’ll never penetrate those shields!”

Keith is just staring, eyes wide, brows drawn in and down. Their weapons are ineffective against the shield. But keith’s ship... could withhold that laser blast.

So... there’s one option, here, really, if he wants Shiro and the others to survive. _The mission is more important than any one individual._ It’s scary, but... he supposes that if his time with the Blade of Marmora has expired, then it’s worth it to die for the mission. He thanks Lance quietly in the back of his mind for losing his wing in the simulator and narrows his eyes in determination.

“Maybe not with our weapons,” he says, to pacify Matt mostly - he’s made up his mind. Keith grits his teeth and thrusts the controls forward, zooming toward the very front of the shield, the center where it’s the most powerful.

“Wait, Keith, what are you doing?!” Keith ignores Matt. Victory or death it is. “Keith, no!” Matt gasps, catching on, voice horrified as Keith accelerates.

He’s stares straight at the cruiser, the shield closing in faster every second.

 _I’m a pilot,_ Lance said the day they met.

Keith squeezes his eyes shut, his eyebrows pinching upward as he gives in to all his emotions. Impact is imminent.

If only he maybe had a place he belonged to. That’s really all he wanted in his life. To not be so alone.

 

Breathe.

 

But instead of an impact, there’s an explosion and a release of energy - Keith opens just his left eye, and then both, widening them at the fire and debris expanding in front of him. He brakes hard, swerving off to the left, and then he sees what happened.

It’s Lotor, light fading from his ship’s cannon.

“Naxzela is returning to normal!” Coran says happily. “You did it!”

“Good work, Keith,” Shiro praises.

“It wasn’t me,” Keith says hoarsely, voice cracking and breaking. “It was Lotor. The cannon on his ship was the only thing powerful enough to take down that shield.”

There’s silence as everyone processes this. Silence as the cruiser with Haggar hyperjumps away.

Keith stares into the emptiness, suddenly... disappointed? Because now he has Matt, who knows fully well what Keith was about to do. And he’s probably gonna... talk about it, or something.

Keith hates consequences.

“Attention, Paladins of Voltron and rebel fighters,” Lotor’s crisp voice resounds from the comms. “I know we’ve had our differences in the past, but... I think it is time we had a discussion.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is the twentieth fic I’ve posted on this site and I think that’s very fitting ily keith
> 
> I’ve literwlly been working on this since the moment I finished season 4 two hours after it released please appreciate it LOL


End file.
